If you are tired and overwhelmed by modern dating, and feel like you keep ending up with incompatible guys, it might be time to reevaluate your dating standards.
This post is all about dating standards.
Getting excited about a new guy, overseeing all the red flags, and then ending up disappointed? Sounds like you? Maybe it’s time to reevaluate your dating standards. Hear me out, having high dating standards is a fundamental trait for high value women, but sometimes we have to ask ourselves tough questions and self-reflect rather than externalizing all the reasons why we don’t find a good match. And, I am not talking about lowering your dating standards, but really think if they serve your end goal of finding a high-quaity guy you can build a connection with. So let’s dive into a dating standards checklist you might want to overthink:
Dating standards to reevaluate
1. He needs to be 6ft tall
I don’t know what are your standards for a guy, but most women’s dating standards include some kind of height requirement. I totally get it, in fact, it was one of my main requirements for years! But when you think about it, height doesn’t determine the quality of a connection or the strength of a relationship.
You should look at height as a plus on your dating checklist but not a requirement. A tall man, who is inconsistent, and emotionally unavailable,won’t make you happy in the long term, so why do we put so much importance on height, instead of focusing on what will actually lead to a healthy relationship? A man who might not check all your boxes but treats you with love and respect is what you should be looking for, no matter if he is 6 feet tall or not.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be attracted to the guy, but attraction is very complex. Sometimes we can be attracted to a man who doesn’t match our physical preferences at all, but he might be super funny, intelligent, or have a certain aura that makes us forget our dating standards checklist. I completely understand that it’s really hard to let go of the height standard, and you shouldn’t look at it as dating below your standards, but rather as giving yourself the chance to build a true and fulfilling connection with a high-quality man. Just keep an open mind, and see what happens.
2. I need to feel “The Spark”
If you still have the requirement that you need to feel “the spark” on the first date to keep seeing someone, you aren’t passing the dating standards test. There is a difference between someone with high standards and someone who is focussing on all the wrong things. If you feel like you need to feel the spark, you are stuck on a romanticized idea of love and dating. Unfortunately, life isn’t a romantic comedy, and it’s time to face reality and give people time to build a connection with you. Like all other relationships, romantic connections grow with time and with time spent together, and one date is often not enough to rule out a possible connection that might develop.
3. He needs to be rich
What are your standards for a guy? If his financial stability is on your dating checklist that’s totally normal and healthy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Successful men who can protect and provide are highly attractive to any woman because we want to feel safe in a relationship and know that our children will be provided for. However, there is a difference between the requirement of providing financial stability and a certain lifestyle. If you are looking for a rich guy, you might not actually be looking for an emotional connection but a lavish lifestyle, which is totally ok! However, I don’t think money will make anyone happy in the long term. Having high dating standards should mean, you are focussing on things that will lead to a healthy emotional connection with your partner.
4. He has to have the same interests
Women’s dating standards often include that their perfect match should share the same interests and hobbies. It’s definitely important to share the same values, visions, and a similar lifestyle but isn’t it interesting and exciting to meet someone who can teach us new views, and make us try new activities? Relationships are amazing ways to grow and experience life through a new lens, so having the same hobbies is nice but it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker if he doesn’t. Again, be open-minded, and curious about life and all it has to offer.
5. He needs to be “fully healed”
Ok, this one is just so wrong and misleading! Everywhere on social media, people talk about their traumas and how they need to first fully heal to get into a relationship with someone. What a load of BS! If this was the rule, nobody would be in a happy relationship! Of course, if you just broke up you shouldn’t jump right into the next partnership but first do some personal work. But having the dating standard that a guy needs to be fully healed (whatever that means) and have no baggage at all is, I’m sorry to be blunt, completely delusional.
Healthy relationships are great accelerators of everything, and a supportive partner will be the best thing that can happen to you if you feel you need to let go of some baggage. Having high dating standards means being able to differentiate between people who aren’t emotionally available and people who like everyone else come with their bags full of positive and negative experiences.
high dating standards
6. He shouldn’t be “too nice”, no, he shouldn’t!
Some women’s dating standards have been completely corrupted by the wrong idea of a masculine man. My girlfriends often tell me that the guy they met was “too nice” and not manly enough. Does that mean that masculine men aren’t nice to women? There is a valid difference between “being nice” and “being kind”. No woman wants to date a nice guy with no boundaries, who says yes to everything. However, that doesn’t mean that high value women are into bad guys! It means that a healthy woman will be attracted to a man who sets boundaries, communicates his expectations, isn’t afraid to say no, and is also kind. So make sure, that you don’t confuse kindness with being too nice, but be wary of guys who have no boundaries, these aren’t men you will be attracted to for too long.
Conclusion
It’s essential for a high value woman to have high dating standards, and to make sure she sets clear boundaries for the men she meets. However, we have to make sure that our “high standards” aren’t holding us back from finding true connection and love. We all dream of the perfect guy who has everything we’ve ever wanted, but it’s time to wake up from this dream that ultimately keeps us from living a thriving love life. We can’t change someone who isn’t compatible with us, but we need to keep in mind that connection and attraction grow with time. So don’t get stuck on that one point on our dating checklist he doesn’t have, and start focussing on these points instead:
Dating standards that lead to connection and a healthy relationship:
- we have a shared vision and goals
- he shares my core values
- he is consistent
- he has an attractive…
- he is kind (not nice)
- he communicates with respect
- he sets boundaries
- he is emotionally available
- he knows how to handle conflict
- he can protect and provide
- HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE AND CALM!!!!
If you want to dive deeper into the core traits of a high-value man, so you stop wasting your time with men who aren’t ready to commit, check out this post.
This post was all about dating standards.
