Being single can feel extremely lonely, especially when everyone around you is in relationships and getting to live the life you so desire. Coping with loneliness begins by realizing that being alone isn’t the enemy and bears huge potential for growth and even future relationships.
This post is all about coping with loneliness
Coping with loneliness is one of the biggest challenges of being single. Comparing yourself to friends who are in happy relationships, mourning your past, and feeling helpless and unseen victimizes you and makes you feel extremely alone. Therefore, it’s time to approach your singlehood from a perspective of growth and empowerment and use your time alone as an opportunity to build a fulfilling life with or without a partner. Here is how to change your ways from “I am single, lonely, and depressed” to “I am responsible for my own happiness”.
Coping with loneliness
1. The Difference Between Loneliness and Being Alone
Being alone can be a powerful, healthy choice, whereas loneliness stems from a sense of emotional disconnection. When you are alone, it’s an intentional state – one that allows you to recharge, self-reflect, and have time for yourself. Solitude offers the freedom to focus on yourself, your individual growth, hobbies, and passions. It’s where you learn to be emotionally independent, which is key to a healthy relationship in the future. Loneliness, however, is a state of emotional void, where your emotional needs aren’t met. You can feel isolated, even when surrounded by people if you feel unsupported and unseen. This emotional disconnect between you and those around you is what causes you to feel an unhealthy loneliness. Coping with loneliness starts by recognizing the difference between being alone and being lonely and embracing solitude as a powerful way for individual growth without the need for external validation. This empowers you to build healthier and fulfilling relationships because you enter them from a place of wholeness rather than the need to fill a void.
2. Self-Discovery in Solitude
If “I am single, lonely, and depressed” is the phrase you keep telling yourself, it’s time to change your perspective and approach single life with a new mindset. Coping with loneliness is hard, when you let solitude victimize you. Instead, try to view your loneliness as a way to prioritize getting to know yourself on a deeper level. Why does the loneliness of being single feel so overpowering to you? What do you need to feel whole without a partner, so you can attract a healthy relationship in the future? These are questions you can explore. Journaling and reflecting on self-reflection prompts will help you reconnect with your true self and guide you on your journey to a happy fulfilled life. My Self-Dicovery ebook is an amazing tool to awaken your potential and build your healthiest self.
3. Building Emotional Independence
When you are coping with loneliness after a breakup, it’s crucial to realize that the feeling of emptiness you experience stems from the feeling of emotional disconnect and dependence. If you need someone else to make you feel emotionally safe and fulfilled, you are setting yourself up for a lot of pain. Therefore, it should be your priority to build emotional independence, by focussing on your life, your needs, and your passions and creating a healthy life for yourself, without anyone else. If you feel whole alone, you can approach relationships from a healthy place rather than trying to fill an emotional void. The loneliness of being single is often a result of comparing your life to the lives of others. You must embrace your situation, even if you aren’t where you want to be yet, and approach your life with gratitude and positivity.
4. Why Rushing into Relationships to Avoid Loneliness Backfires
What to do when you are lonely and alone? NOT jumping into the next best relationship! Coping with loneliness as a single woman is a valuable skill, that will make you stronger and emotionally independent. Furthermore, being able to be by yourself and still be happy is a very attractive quality. Entering a new relationship from a place of neediness to fill an emotional void will only result in more pain down the road. You must realize that no one is responsible for your happiness and emotions but you. Giving someone the power over your happiness is a road to failure and pain you don’t want to take. Therefore, entering a relationship out of fear of being alone, leads to unhealthy connections that will only be a waste of your time and energy.
5. Quality Over Quantity in Relationships
I get it, being single while your friends are all hanging out with their boyfriends, getting married, and having children feels extremely isolating and lonely. But keep in mind that not everything that shines is gold. You don’t know what’s going on in most relationships if they are as fulfilling, happy, and healthy as they seem because a lot of people choose any partner just not to be alone. Therefore, you should focus on quality over quantity in relationships. Solitude is a valuable way to connect with yourself and reflect on what you need from a future partner. Take your time to figure out your dating standards, your boundaries, and how you want your future partner to make you feel. This gives you the tools to evaluate the men you meet from a place of empowerment and from a place of desperation and fear of being alone.
6. Strengthening Existing Relationships While Alone
Coping with Loneliness has a lot to do with reconnecting with your loved ones. Loneliness stems from a feeling of disconnect between you and the people around you and feeling unsupported and misunderstood. Therefore it’s crucial to invest in like-minded people and surround yourself with those people you feel connected to. As counterintuitive as it sounds, sometimes this also means that you need to let go of old friendships, that don’t serve you anymore and build new friendships with people who make you feel seen. When I was alone, it helped me tremendously to surround myself with other single women my age, they understood my struggles, shared my dreams, and gave me hope and motivation when I needed it. But be careful that you don’t choose the type of women who feel sorry for themselves, and throw one pitty party after the other. You need singles who inspire and motivate you and show you how to appreciate the beauty of life even without a partner on your side.
7. Rewiring Your Brain: How Solitude Boosts Creativity
Creativity is my Nr.1 way of coping with loneliness after a breakup. I wrote a whole poetry book after my worst separation, which was a great way to transform my pain into something beautiful. The loneliness of being single opens up many opportunities for being creative and expressing your feelings through art, poetry, or music. The most beautiful songs and poems in the world were written out of heartbreak and longing for love. Try to embrace your pain, and see it as a part of life, that will make your happy times even more happy one day. Embrace your femininity and tap into your creativity to heal.
8. Solitude as a Time for Healing from Past Relationships
Breakups are hard, and healing might take some time. Therefore, it’s essential that you deeply reflect on your past relationships and focus on what you could have done differently, not only your partner. By focusing on yourself, your actions, and your decisions, you can start your healing journey from a place of empowerment rather than victimhood. Here are some valuable questions you can ask yourself on your healing journey:
- What did I learn about myself in this relationship?
- What were the main reasons the relationship ended?
- Did I ignore any red flags early on? Why?
- What behaviors do I need to change?
- What did I do that was not ok, and why?
- Was I truly happy, or was I holding on out of fear or comfort?
- Did I communicate my needs effectively?
- Did I compromise my values or boundaries during the relationship?
- What patterns do I notice in my past relationships?
- How can I improve my emotional well-being before entering my next relationship?
- Am I holding onto any resentment or bitterness? If so, how can I release it?
- What qualities do I want in my next partner, and how can I align myself to attract that person?
9. Creating a fulfilling life without a partner
The loneliness of being single often stems from the feeling that we need a partner to build a fulfilling life. This approach is problematic, as it makes our happiness dependent on other people. You must understand that you alone have the power to create a happy life for yourself. Therefore, using your loneliness, to completely focus on yourself, and what makes you happy, is the best tip for what to do when you are lonely and alone. Focus on the main areas of your life to set goals: health, career, family & friends, home, finances, personal growth, and intimate relationships, and pursue your goals with or without a partner. A fun way to get started is by creating a vision board and placing it somewhere in your house where you see it every day. This keeps you on your path and gives you purpose even when you are feeling low.
10. Alone Time and Ambition: How Solitude Fuels Personal Growth
You can approach being single in two ways. Either you keep telling yourself “I am single, lonely, and depressed” or you use the time you have to do all the things you never had time to do. Being alone opens a whole new world of opportunities to pursue your passions, and dreams and experience life to the fullest, with all it has to offer. Here are some ideas for self-growth that will make coping with loneliness a gift rather than a challenge:
- Take up a New Hobby or Skill
- Join a Fitness Class or Create a Workout Routine
- Start Journaling for Self-Reflection
- Travel Solo
- Read Books on Personal Development
- Volunteer for a Cause You Care About
- Take an Online Course or Attend Workshops
- Practice Meditation and Mindfulness
- Create a Vision Board or Set Long-Term Goals
- Focus on Friendships and Social Connections
- Explore Creative Outlets
- Establish a Self-Care Routine
- Attend Personal Growth or Empowerment Retreats
- Invest in Financial Growth
- Practice Gratitude Daily
Loneliness can feel extremely heavy and paralyzing, if we see ourselves as the victims of our lives. With these 10 tips you can approach being single from a place of empowerment and opportunity and embrace coping with loneliness from a different, more healthy perspective.
This post was all about coping with loneliness
