Do you feel like the common relationship advice you get from your girlfriends might be holding you back? In this blog post, we uncover the 7 pieces of overrated relationship advice that is well-meant but won’t help you create the fulfilling relationship with the high-value man you deserve.
This post is all about overrated relationship advice.
Most relationship advice for couples or singles is extremely well-meant, feels empowering, and is completely misleading. I get it, we want to feel strong and independent, keep our self-esteem high, and not let our partner have too much power over us. But the most common relationship advice out there is inspired by feminist ideologies, that separate us from our partners, instead of creating a healthy unity. What about focusing on honest advice, allowing us to be vulnerable, and helping us create a healthy and fulfilling team instead of creating constant competition and separation? Let’s dive into the most overrated relationship advice and find out how we can shift our perspective towards healthy togetherness with our other half.
Overrated Relationship Advice
1. “You don’t need a man; focus only on yourself.”
This is probably the most common and overrated relationship advice women give each other over and over again. Of course, it feels very “empowering” to not need anyone, but the core message of this advice is extremely separating, creating this idea that men are somehow bad and keeping us from growth and happiness. Why do we need to make men smaller to thrive as women, and why does it feel so unsafe and weak for us to admit that we need a man in our lives? If we want to be in a happy relationship, we should have the courage to go against these stereotypes that say that masculinity is toxic and femininity is weak and focus on how we can create a healthy partnership where we complete each other rather than competing with each other. What are we competing for? This whole “me, me, me focus” is simply bad relationship advice!
2. “Be 100% independent and never rely on a man.”
No one denies that it’s good to be self-sufficient, and be able to look after ourselves like any adult would, but why would you want to be in a relationship if you still feel like you need to be 100% independent? Doesn’t this seem contradictory to the whole idea and purpose of a partnership? In my mind striving for a relationship comes from the desire to SHARE a life with someone, to make each other’s lives easier, and to support each other through the good and bad. The overrated relationship advice of always being 100% independent, goes against everything that stands for a healthy relationship, and the purpose of entering a union with someone in the first place. The idea of staying independent stems from bitterness against men and the fear of ending up in a bad situation. Women have been taught to see men as their enemy, rather than their supporter and protector. However, this isn’t just women’s fault, men also need to step up and become better men with good morals and values. For them to do so we need to stop defining masculinity as “toxic” and make sure that men embrace their masculinity and become the providers and protectors women want and need.
3. “Always put your career first, relationships can wait.”
To always put your career first is common relationship advice that again stems from fear of ending up in a bad situation or just simply having the wrong priorities. No one says that you can’t pursue an amazing career as a woman, but at the end of the day, it’s our relationships and not success or money that give our lives purpose and fulfillment. Studies have shown over and over again that it’s the quality of our relationships that not only has the biggest impact on our happiness but also our health! Therefore putting your career before your relationships isn’t only an overrated relationship advice but a dangerous road to go. As women, we need to be very aware of our biological clock, even if it seems unfair, we can’t change nature, so prioritizing family and relationships is the best relationship advice you can get if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life.
4. “Men should accept you exactly as you are, no matter what.”
This overrated relationship advice is pure entitlement and quite frankly delusional and arrogant. Again, the message stems clearly from a place of bitterness and anger toward men and the idea that women are perfect just for being women. A high-value woman accepts that she isn’t perfect, learns from her mistakes, and has a growth mindset that guides her through life. She is happy to make an effort for her partner and expects him to do the same for her. Of course, we should feel loved, accepted, and appreciated in a relationship, but feeling entitled to someone’s love and acceptance no matter how we behave or look is simply childish and immature.
5. “Never prioritize a man over your friends.”
When I hear this common relationship advice I ask myself: “Are relationships overrated?”. I agree that once in a relationship you shouldn’t neglect your friends and completely lose yourself in this new partnership, however, this bad relationship advice suggests that investing time and energy in building a romantic relationship isn’t important. The best relationship advice for couples I have ever heard is that for a relationship to be successful you need to understand that it consists of 3 parts. There are both your individual lives, your hobbies, your passions, and your friends that you have to keep nurturing and there is the part where you build something together, which means that sometimes you do have to prioritize your man over your friends.
6. “You should never compromise in a relationship.”
If you get into a relationship with the idea that you shouldn’t have to compromise, good luck to you. This idea again stems from a feeling of entitlement, and id completely immature. Every relationship requires compromise, as both individuals need to get their needs met. A relationship is a constant dance back and forth, a give and take, and a teamwork – not a dictatorship.
7. “Men are intimidated by strong, successful women.”
The idea that men are intimidated by strong women is probably the most overrated relationship advice I have ever heard. Women often use this excuse to justify their disagreeableness, saying that they need a man who can deal with a “challenging” woman. But here is the thing: why would a man want a challenging woman? Life is difficult enough as it is, nobody (neither men nor women) wants to come home to a difficult partner they have to constantly compete with. Men adore femininity, not because it’s weak but because it completes them and makes them thrive in their masculinity.
The critique of these 7 pieces of overrated relationship advice triggered you, that’s completely normal and understandable. The problem with these tips is that they not only give women a false sense of empowerment but are creating a dangerous separation and the feeling of constant competition and rejection toward the masculine. This is not the way to go if we want to form a healthy relationship with a man. We don’t need to make men smaller to thrive as women, but to accept our differences, and support each other to become the best versions of ourselves individually and in togetherness.
This post was all about overrated relationship advice
