Are you stuck in an endless loop of hope, desperation, and heartbreak, yet you keep returning to the source of your pain? Explore the 10 critical signs of emotional dependency in a relationship and find the strength to live your life with confidence, independence, and the belief that you deserve a love that empowers, not limits you.
This post is all about signs of emotional dependency
What is emotional dependency? Emotional dependency is a huge need for constant approval from another person, the sense that you can’t live without them, and your behavior guided by the fear of being abandoned. Even if you are in a relationship with a healthy partner, being emotionally dependent on them is never healthy, because it puts extreme pressure on the relationship. The first step in learning how to overcome emotional dependency is to open your eyes to your actions and emotions. In this post, we explore the clear signs of emotional dependency in a relationship with a partner that might not be good for you In this post, we explore the clear signs of emotional dependency in a relationship with a partner that might not be good for you, and how recognizing these signs can be the first step toward reclaiming your power and pursuing a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Sings of emotional dependency
1. Excusing toxic behavior
One of the number one signs of emotional dependency is when you constantly excuse the toxic behavior of your partner. If you find yourself getting very good at justifying him lying, creating conflict, ignoring you, calling you names, etc. because you are scared of losing him, this should be a huge red flag for you. And yes, even if he is great sometimes, and he bought you flowers or promised you what you wanted, it’s not an excuse to ever treat you disrespectfully!
Emotional dependency in a relationship is so hard because we are always misguided by the hope that our partner might one day change and give us all we ever wanted. So, we tend to exaggerate the good things we see in the person and desperately hold on to the picture we build of them in our minds. However, we need to wake up, let go of our dream image, see them for who they really are, and objectively evaluate if they are good for us, even if it hurts.
2. Fear of leaving
What causes emotional dependency is mostly a deeply rooted fear of abandonment. This can lead to you feeling trapped and stuck in a relationship, too fearful of leaving even though you know that the partnership is unhealthy for you. Ways how to overcome emotional dependency start with overcoming your fear of abandonment and realizing that you are an independent individual capable of living your life without a toxic partner.
3. Accepting breadcrumbing
Emotional dependency in a relationship often manifests itself when one of the partners accepts breadcrumbing from the other. Settling for the minimal effort in love, support, and care, and holding on to it for dear life, even to excuse the worst behavior is a sign of emotional dependency. It shows the deeply rooted symptoms of emotional dependency of low self-worth and the fear of not finding or deserving someone better. Check out my E-book “Confident You” How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem, for more guidance on living your best life.
4. Neglecting boundaries
Letting your partner violate your boundaries out of fear of conflict or abandonment is a big sign of emotional dependency. If you find yourself tolerating inappropriate behavior, denigrating language, or disrespecting of your values, then it’s time to reflect. Get help, and find ways how to overcome emotional dependency. If you want to learn more about boundaries in a relationship, this post is for you.
5. Sacrificing mental and physical health
As humans, we are masters at ignoring our intuition. However, when we ignore our soul for too long, it will start manifesting issues through physical or mental symptoms, until we are forced to face our problems. Anxiety, nightmares, stress, physical pains, and sudden health issues could be a sign that we have to change something in our lives. When we are emotionally dependent on someone, unfortunately, we tend to ignore these symptoms, which can have extremely harmful consequences. So trust your gut, listen to what your body and soul are trying to tell you, and make your mental and physical health your number one priority!
6. Your mood depends on the other person’s actions and words
Feeling completely down because he hasn’t texted you or his text wasn’t loving enough? Is your happiness completely dependent on whether he shows enough love and affection, and does your anxiety go through the roof if you see him active on social media? These are all clear signs of emotional dependency in a relationship. It’s normal that as emotional beings our lives get affected by others, but we should be emotionally stable enough to not constantly need the validation and approval of another person to feel happy. You have to realize that no one is responsible for your happiness and your emotions but you!
7. Isolating from others
Just living for your relationship and neglecting your family and friends is not only unhealthy but extremely unfair to your loved ones and your partnership. Expecting your partner to “replace” your friends and family and spend 24/7 with you puts extreme pressure on him, and quite frankly is highly unattractive. It’s normal that in the first phase of new love, you want to enjoy it as much as you can, but never forget who was there for you before you met your partner, and make sure they still will be there in case it doesn’t work out. Furthermore, giving value to the time you spend with others, is the first step how to overcome emotional dependency.
8. Ignoring red flags
This sign of emotional dependency is pretty straightforward, for most of us. But when you are in a toxic relationship as an emotionally dependent individual, it’s very hard for you to acknowledge the red flags of someone. You are a master at deceiving yourself and your perception to keep up the perfect image you painted of your partner. Most codependent women have a very high pain tolerance and unfortunately need something very dramatic to happen right in front of their eyes, for them to face reality and find ways how to overcome emotional dependency.
9. Seeing the relationship as your whole identity
Defining yourself solely by your role in the relationship, with little to no sense of identity outside of it is a warning sign that you are emotionally dependent. Therefore, you must keep a healthy level of independence in your partnership. Nurturing your friendships, seeing your loved ones, and following your hobbies and passions are crucial to your mental health and essential how to overcoming emotional dependency.
10. Emotional dependency vs. love
If you are emotionally dependent on someone, you don’t know how to love and be loved the right way. Therefore, it is extremely hard for you to accept that your behavior isn’t healthy and to leave a toxic relationship. The following list can help you differentiate emotional dependency from love.
Emotional dependency vs. love examples:
- You suppress your feelings to keep the peace vs. You express your needs, and both of you find a healthy compromise.
- Your day is ruined because he didn’t text you vs. You enjoy your day and know he loves you, even if he’s busy.
- His bad mood makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong vs. You understand that his mood isn’t a reflection of your relationship.
- You give up hobbies and friends to make more time for him vs. You keep your passions and friends, and he supports your individuality.
- You avoid difficult conversations out of fear he’ll leave vs. You have honest discussions, knowing that conflict won’t break your bond.
- You rely on him to make you feel happy and fulfilled vs. You find happiness in yourself and enjoy sharing it with him.
- You let him cross your boundaries to avoid conflict vs. You maintain healthy boundaries, and he respects them.
These 10 clear signs of emotional dependency should help you face the truth and evaluate if you need to change. Living a healthy and thriving relationship is something we all deserve, but it requires a lot of work and self-growth, being honest with ourselves and our partners. Having the confidence to know what’s good for us, and the self-worth to not accept anything less, are crucial to live a fulfilling life. In my next post, I’ll be sharing practical tips and strategies on how to overcome emotional dependency. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter so you don’t miss it!
This post was all about signs of emotional dependency.
